Destruction

Hi again friends , sorry lama tak update blog huhu, distracted sgt =(

Now i'll be posting everyday, i'll try hehe

okay today i have a story to post in my memories blog ni. Its about me n my dear friend. Here goes nothing

IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN YOU

I met him about hmm a year ago. He's a friend of Danny n was very friendly to me. When I first saw him I knew he'd be someone important in my life. So we began to learn more about each other day by day. We even did the cutest things together back then. We used to send each other cute memo notes whenever we're free. Especially during break time. He called me cute names hehe, I love em so much till one of em got stuck till today. We used to call each other using tat nickname. We went to extra classes together. We were together most of the time. We did ymchat till 5am in the morning. We bond . Back then, I was already in love with him but I thought its sumting tat i can delay. Delay about telling him the truth cuz he's the kind of guy tat dont trust in commitments. He dont wanna get involve in any relationship with me. I knew tat, so i think its best to learn about him more before we go somewhere else.

After SPM, he moved back to his hometown. Well its kindda sad for me. I was really sad about it. But there's always ways to be with him. Its like we were blessed or something cuz I met him many times after SPM. I went there n, he came here. Even in KL , we met. huhu We went to Genting Highlands together. Many new things I get to do whenever he's around. Tho i knew him for some time, but there's always things to do. words to say. For him its nothing, but for a girl, a girl like me, attention from him really moved me. I was happy whenever he's around. I am always. No matter where, just a ymchat with him, or in Genting riding those roller coasters, at my kampung or even a quick smsing with him. Im happy. was.

But there are times. when I hurt him badly. Till we gt into fights. He's mad at me, n me too. Me and him, sometimes we fight. Sometimes I cried cuz hurting him doesnt do nothing better to me. I realized tat so lately, ive been teaching myself not to get offended easily by him. He is a very frank man, he says whatever he hafto say. Even now Im still praising the land that he walked huhu. I dont know why, but I just cant stop it. Maybe its just me. huhu.. but me n him, we tend to forgive each other easily. Thats what I love about us.

I told him things that I suppose to let him know like 8 months ago. So, of course I dont hope for anything cuz it'll not gonna be the same. He's not the same guy as before. I cudnt hope for anything n he is frank. I have to be ready for this. I have to swallow the consequences if i cross the line. Well i confessed. I told him about my feelings. Perigi cari timba, yup tats me. Im that despo. huhu. Well as expected, he declined and pushed me back to where I suppose to be, safely in the comfortzone. And somehow, the truth cuts deeper than what Ive been lying to myself before. IT CUTS DEEPLY! Reading his words, my tears falls down unexpectedly. N it goes like more n more n more till i realized that I was sobbing! huhu pretty bad huh? Just now I was like LOST! He was my place to run to whenever nobody would take me in. He was my bestfriend n my lover, we love each other so much. He was the guy that I fall in love with. I never know tat I loved him this much to cry for him this bad huhu, a guy n a girl cud never be bestfriends huhu that fer sure

How I wish this was all a mistake, I cudnt handle the truth. I cant. I shudve think first before doing this. Now Im lost n I know Im being ludacris,but this is me. Im learning to let him go slowly. I cant afford to keep on getting hurt by myself. Its Love n love is something that I take seriously. I take u seriously for no reason . Im sorry. huuhu I told him the truth cuz I dont wanna lose him ever. but seeing it from where i left this, I lost him already kot, uhuhu Im sorry

i think i'll hang on if u still want me, but if u dont i guess i'll move on

I am in love with u, n its gonna be hard for me to go thru this. Im embarrassing myself here but I dont mind. I dont believe in commitments either, but when its u, I think its gonna be fine. huhu thats what I think. Not u. Well what s left to say? hmm I hope i havent done any damage to our friendship. I'll try being ur friend n treat u as a friend. I'll try my best. ily more